i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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