at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize