My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
