Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
