Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
