Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
