I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize