I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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