true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
