2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You made out with two different species that night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
