This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
