Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize