i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
