oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
