I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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