what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
