this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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