Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
