Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize