do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
