what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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