Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
