dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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