Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
