Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize