Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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