I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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