meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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