dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
