Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
