im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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