butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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