Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I cockslap morals
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
