Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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