Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
