the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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