Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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