you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
