All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
