He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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