As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
