I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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