Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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