I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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