One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dick very happy bro
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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