dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
