So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize