If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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