Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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