dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
