i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
