Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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