some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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