it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
