My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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