Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
