Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
