I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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