Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize