'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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