The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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