I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is Oprah even human
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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