I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
