This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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