this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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