fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
