How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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