Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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